By
What is the difference between a funeral, a memorial service and a celebration of life? These are frequent questions. Which is better? When and why should you choose one over any of the others?
Let’s look at each type of service so that you know the differences, and which will work best for you, for your family, and to honour your loved one.
Funeral vs Memorial Service vs Celebration of Life
A funeral is a service to honour a deceased person with the body present, while a memorial service is a time to memorialize the individual without the body present.
A celebration of life can either have the body present or not, but the emphasis and tone of the event focus on joyfully celebrating and remembering the decedent’s life, as opposed to mourning their death.
| Funeral | Memorial Service Celebration of Life | ||
| Body | Body present in a casket | Nobody | Either; body or no body |
| Style | Traditional | Personalized; casual yet respectful | Informal and creative |
| Tone | Somber and dignified | Grief mixed with happy memories | Celebratory and commemorative – sometimes a literal party |
| Location | Funeral home or church | Church, funeral home, fellowship hall, community centre | Anywhere |
Next, we’ll go in-depth on these three types of service and see what makes each one unique.
Funeral Service
A funeral is the classic, traditional ceremony to remember the dead and to lay their body to rest. A funeral will be more formal, more circumspect, and more somber than a celebration of life.
Most often, the funeral will take place at the funeral home, though sometimes you can do this at church or even at home. The reception can be at the same location or a different one, depending on the arrangements you make and the available facilities.
Most funerals involve four elements: visitation, funeral service, commitment, and reception.
1. Visitation
The visitation or viewing is a time before the funeral when family and loved ones can gather to offer comfort to one another, share memories and often a light appetizer, and, if desired, pay respects to the decedent in an open casket.
This can be a private gathering by invitation only, or open to the public. Some families prefer to have it at home, but most often it is held at the funeral home or the location of the funeral.
2. Funeral Service
Next comes the funeral service itself, which can include readings, prayers, eulogies, music, and any memorial tributes the family finds appropriate.
For a funeral, most attendees wear formal clothes in black or dark colours. The auditorium can be decorated with flowers, and the casket will be upfront, often alongside a large photo display.
The tone of the service is often restrained and sombre, recognizing the gravity of the occasion. Weeping and other displays of grief as well as humorous jokes and lighthearted stories are certainly permissible and even encouraged, but the overall sensibility of the funeral service is one of respect and decorum.
3. Committal
Immediately after the service the body is laid to rest. This is known as a committal, or graveside service. Most often this means a funeral procession to the cemetery where the body is buried in a short ceremony.
A clergy member, funeral director, or family member will officiate the committal. The officiant will say a few brief words about the person, read Scriptures or other texts, lead in singing hymns, and provide a time for final goodbyes before the lowering and burial of the casket.
However, with the increasing popularity of cremation, instead of a committal the body may be taken to the crematorium and the ashes scattered, buried, placed in a columbarium niche, or taken home in a cremation urn later. In that case, the funeral service moves immediately into the reception.
4. Reception
After the service (and committal, if done at this time) the family typically invites attendees to a reception. At the reception, the formality of the funeral service slowly dissolves as relatives and friends break bread together, sharing the comforts of a meal and one another’s company, along with stories and memories of the departed loved one.
The reception is an important part of the grieving process and helps many in your wider community to move forward from sheer sadness at the loss of someone meaningful in their life.
Memorial Service
Memorial services can be remarkably like a funeral. However, with the body not present, memorial services allow for much greater flexibility. You have more options for the time and place.
For this reason, you can schedule memorial services weeks or even months after the death, to accommodate travelling family members or other circumstantial issues. Since the disposition will have happened within about a week of the passing, as time and physical distance from the death increase the sombre formality typical of funerals tends to decrease. This means that simply due to human nature the memorial service tends to be less solemn.
Community centres, event centres, parks, and even a family member’s home can be the venue. The time can be right away or months and even years after the death. The service can be long or short, elaborate, or simple, formal, or informal.
If the person has been cremated and the remains are present at the service, it is still typically known as a memorial service. “Funeral” is reserved for when the body as such is present in a casket.
Celebration of Life
A celebration of life is simply a funeral or memorial service by another name. However, when people use this term, they are usually consciously trying to get away from the sad and depressing element of death and focus on remembering and commemorating the person’s life.
This often results in more of a “party” atmosphere, a celebratory gathering of family and friends. Creative ideas like these are often the focus along with telling stories and other memories about the individual.
Food and drink abound. You’ll also encounter art, music, and themes that highlight the person’s individuality, such as gardening, a favourite sports team, hobby collections, and so on.
Now that you know the difference between funerals, memorial services, and life celebrations, you can plan exactly what you want each step along the way to honour your beloved. Read our Funeral Planning Guide for everything you need to know. (And yes, it applies to memorial services and life celebrations too!)